Hello baby, you had another great day today. It was one of my favorites.
All of your feedings have gone well lately still no big poops, but the nurses don’t seem too concerned. They have a suppository scheduled to give you later this evening. I’ve had that before, you won’t enjoy it, but hopefully it gets the job done. Your ventilator settings are moving in the right direction. You seem stable and growing which is really all we can hope for. We are all happy.
Big new developments, I got to hold you!! I’ve held babies before, but nothing like this. Usually my thoughts while holding a baby revolve around not dropping or sneezing on it. I’ve always thought babies smell a little weird, and maybe I smell weird to them too. Don’t get me wrong its cool holding babies, but I never felt all that comfortable. Well holding you was different, in every way. You are by far the smallest most fragile baby I’ve ever seen or held. I didn’t worry about anything. There is something different in your brain when you hold your baby. I can’t explain it well, but you just sort of feel calm and warm inside, like the two of us melt into one. It was the most relaxed and peaceful I can ever remember being. Nothing else mattered. It was a feeling of content like everything in the world was ok. It was Utopian.I just can’t wait for you to feel it someday with your child. I love you more everyday. Being a parent is the coolest, just wait until you’re ready though. I’m 36, don’t wait that long but just figure out life little first. Okay, I’m done being over bearing father, for now o will figure it out.
Letters to Holland 