Letters to Holland

Hello Baby, you had another great day. You gained 63 grams and now weigh in at 3 lb 3 oz. That is great, you are just growing so fast now. You oxygen is steady at 25%, so you are adjusting very well to this C-Pap machine. We, your parents and doctors, just could not be more impressed and happy with how you’ve done lately. Mom got to hold you yesterday, she said you perked up when you first heard her voice, and you were excited to see her.  She also said you woke up well rested towards the end and just stared at her and kind of stared at her. You were very alert and interested in your surroundings. It is really cool watching you develop. You are totally aware of more than I would expect. I feel like one of those annoying parents that always talk about how advanced their kids are. You are doing good though, babe, really good, like top of your class good. You are just really advanced for your age. Okay, I got carried away. You make us proud and we love you bunches.

Hello Baby, you had a great weekend. You gained 75 grams over the weekend and you now weigh in at 3 lb 1 oz. You are loving your food and growing fast. I really think you have enjoyed the new style of vent you have. I think it helps you grow. You sleep better and seem to be much more comfortable. You adjusted to it so well they have changed your vent to work a little less for you. You are no longer being given breaths. You are now on a C-Pap machine. It just holds a constant positive pressure. You are actually doing all the breathing on your own. This is a huge step and everyone is excited for you. Because of the change the staff decided to bump your oxygen up just a bit to help you adjust. You are currently at 25% and handling it very well. So you have had an eventful weekend, and I hope you can relax a little this week before anymore changes.

I got to give you a bath on Saturday. You are finally starting to enjoy them a little more, or at least hate them a little less.  I really enjoy them because you wake all the way up and look around and have great expressions on your face. My Aunt Linda, Nana’s sister, came in from out-of-town to see you. You seemed to like her, and she really loves you. She is really funny and as full of love as anyone I know. You held on to her hand and looked at her when she spoke to you. She is a miracle baby too.  I will tell you all about it one day, or maybe I will just let her tell you. Mommy held you Saturday, and I had to  work all day Sunday and didn’t get to see you at all. Sometimes its easier than others to be away for a full day. This one wasn’t that great, but I hurried over to see you the next morning. You were peacefully asleep and looked great so that makes me feel better. You have done so well lately, keep up the great work, but don’t forget to rest! We love you and you make us so proud.

Hello Baby, you had another great  day. You gained 40 grams and now weigh in at 2 lbs 15 oz. You are one little ounce from 3 lbs. I almost can’t believe it. You are a giant baby and have done so well lately. You had a couple brief moments today when the nurses had to turn your oxygen back up to 23-25% but they were also able to wean you back to room air pretty quickly. It seems you have a 3-4 hour tolerance of room air before you get a little worn out and need a little helpful bump in oxygen. I got to hold you today; I had a great time and you really slept well. I don’t think you pulled out any tubes today. Thanks for that. You were given bigger size wraps and bedding because they weren’t really able to keep you contained any longer. Your strength is too much for those little wraps to handle. Overnight the nurses also changed your entire bed/ box contraption. Those are only for “Tiny Babies.” You have upgraded to a big NICU girl.  So, Congratulations on that. Mommy and Daddy went to a dinner at Kathy’s house last night. We didn’t have your big sis with us so we were able be adults and enjoy adult company. It turns out it may have been a little too long since we last did that. We enjoyed it and felt a little recharge from it. Nana came and saw you yesterday while I was holding you. Your grandmas  sure love you and want for  you to come home soon so they can increase their level of spoiling. You have a lot of love waiting for you in this world. Not everyone is so lucky, so always remember that and be thankful for you family and friends. We love you and you make us proud.

Hello baby, you had another great day. You gained 60 g and weigh in at 2 lb 14 oz. You are doing great. You are also breathing room air now. So your vent still pumps air into your lungs, but they don’t need to add oxygen anymore. So that’s exciting, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if some days you will need it again. Yesterday was uneventful. I was at work most of the day after I got to see you in the morning. I would guess we are about half way through our stay in the NICU, if things go as planned from here on out. Saturday will be 8 weeks since your birth and about 8 weeks before approximate discharge date. The discharge date can move two weeks either way pretty easily, but it should be in the ball park. I kind of feel like we have been here a long time, but I also feel like its flown by. Your growth and change seems to happen so quickly while time, days and weeks, just creep along. We love seeing you grow and mature; We love the staff and feel comfortable with you in their hands; We also are ready to live in the same house as you. That’s what is wearing on our patience. We have to drive 20 minutes to see you. We can’t just go pick you up from your crib and watch TV while we hold you. It gets old. With all that being said, we are as happy as ever. Our life is full of joy and laughter. Your life is a huge part of that. We love seeing you, holding you, and changing your diaper. Parenting is beautiful. I am pretty sure its always a little bit of a grind. I feel like our situation is not that far from most parents. We sleep through the night at least, for now. Our experience is full of all the same emotions all parents live through. Simple little smiles and laughs that get you through exhausting mornings and bouts of impatience and frustrations.  All in all it the best thing ever. Its a complete blast. We love it, and you. I am thankful for this entire experience. You have inspired us to be better parents and people. Thank you.

Hello Baby, you had another great day today. You were weaned down to room air on your vent for like 2 hours and handled it well. The nurses just saw you becoming very worn out from the extra workload. So they bumped you back up just a bit. The doctors stated your lungs were progressing very well. They also said that your weight gaining was sub-par. This was not a shock to me as that’s been their focus all week and you lost 10 g today. They increased your feeds to 25 ml. This should help but is also just a minor change. It seems as though this is just something that is going to have to come naturally. So this one is on you babe, fatten up. Mommy held you yesterday and you loved it as usual. I believe you did throw up on mom and pull out your feeding tube, but that is nothing new.  I got to give you a bath. In the past, you haven’t exactly enjoyed bath time, but you really seemed to enjoy this. There was no crying or freaking out. You seemed to relax and just wonder what we were doing. I enjoyed it more too. It seemed like a little bonding moment for us. I changed your diaper right before we started and I think as soon as the water touched you pooped a biggin’. It made me laugh just a little. We are all enjoying time with you more and more lately. We interact at a higher level and just get to bond more. We love it. We also love you.  You are always the highlight of my day. 

Hello baby, you had another great day. You continued to enjoy your new vent. Your oxygen in your blood stays near 100% basically all day. That and the increased comfort of this vent seems to lead you to sleep extra peacefully lately. Every time I come in, you look so peaceful and deep asleep. Your doctors have decided just to leave you alone on this vent for a while. I feel like it is because you are a little ahead of the game when it comes to breathing and a little behind on weight gain. So I think you will probably be left to just rest and grow while you are in this seemingly more comfortable place. You did gain 30 grams and are now up to 2 lbs 12 oz.

I got to hold you in the afternoon and loved it. We had a really good time. At first you wanted your hoolie (binkie), and you really worked it for awhile, but after an hour or so you zonked out and laid mouth open just drooling. It makes me feel great and relaxed to see you sleep so well lately. I know you needed it after all the hard work you have put in so far.  We love you and you make us incredibly proud. You are a rockstar sister. 

Hello Baby, you had another great day. You gained weight and are up to 2 lbs 11 0z. You also settled in to your new vent just fine. You have pulled your mask off a couple of times but that seems to just be your personality.  Everything in the feeding department seems to be going well too. The doctors are happy with your results. The nurses seem to think you have been sleeping better and are just more comfortable on this vent. Each step is supposed to be less bothersome. We are all happy to see you finally getting some good rest. Mommy got to hold you in the evening, and you both enjoyed it. You just get a little more comfortable each day.You also seem to be more aware and curious about stuff. You look around at your surroundings and seem to wonder what all this stuff is. This might be because your eyes are getting more useful, no matter the reason, it is more fun than ever just watching you hang out.  I will be holding you tomorrow and look forward to it. Keep up the great work beautiful you inspire us all.

Hello Baby, You had a great weekend. Daddy held you on Saturday, we had a blast. You turned your head while on your tummy. You also pulled out your feeding tube all while on my chest. Your Aunt Michelle, Aunt Aimee and Uncle Kevin all came to see you. They got to see daddy without a shirt on. That was something everyone clearly enjoyed, but not as much as they enjoyed meeting you for the first time. They are such a wonderful part of our family. I am excited to watch you grow up with them and their families. Having a big cool family is such a blessing and you definitely are being born into one.

You also had a new ventilator this weekend.This is called a CI-PAP machine. It is similar to a standard C-PAP except that it still assists you on breaths. Your next step is basically a C-PAP machine. No one knows how long it will be before you switch to it. So far,  you have adjusted very well to this vent. Your settings are really low already. I wouldn’t be surprised if in a couple days they switch you off this one.

You lost a little weight over the weekend which stinks, but you also got your pic line  taken out and your new vent they take off when they weigh you. So there have been adjustments.  The doctors don’t seem worried, and so neither am I. We love you bunches and you make us proud! Can’t wait to take you home.

 

Hello Baby, you had another great day today!! You gained 30 grams and now weigh in at 2 lb 9 oz. Big baby!! You grow so fast now, it really makes everyone happy. The doctors say they hope you gain 35 grams a day on average and you have been lately. You seem to digest all of your food every feed now. So the nurses empty your stomach before every feed to see how much you have left to make sure they don’t over feed you. Well, you have been empty most of the time lately. You have completed you steroids now too. So I expect the doctors to start weaning you more aggressively starting this weekend. I wouldn’t be surprised if you switch to the next vent soon. You really love your pacifier and start to cry a little when it falls out. You are such a big girl. I feel like I am running out of things to say to you lately. That is a good thing though. Life here has become normal and relaxing and you just progress steadily. I had to work right after rounds. The nurses have started to notice days I have to leave for work. The nurse yesterday told me she would give you “a little extra love” knowing I would be gone. That makes it easier on me. The entire staff really loves you. Even the cleaning staff asks me about you all the time. The mom in the room next to us has told me she hears all the nurses talking about you. Her baby has been here the entire you have. They will hopefully head home in the next week or so. I am excited for her, they are ready. I know you have a lot of time left here, but I look forward to you coming home too. Just having a relaxing day at home with the whole family sounds pretty good right now. With that being said I still love spending time with you here. The staff here is great and we have really gotten to know them all. I am sure I will miss parts of this place when we do come home. We love you so much. I love petting your soft little head while you enjoy your pacifier. You make me so proud. I love you Holland.

Hello baby, you had another great day. You gained 40g and you now weigh in at 2 lb 8 oz!!! Great job. The doctors upped your feeds again today by another ml. That’s 22 ml per feed now. They also weaned your vent pressure twice down to a pressure of 24. They have said that the next ventilator change will happen when you get down to a pressure of 15-20. Mommy got to hold you last night and you responded very well. You make it more and more clear that you enjoy gold times. You are now off antibiotics, which should improve your digestion and weight gain. You love your little pacifier so much too. You get a little cranky when it drops out. It is totally adorable. I’ve been massaging your head during touch times. I love it. You have the softest little head and hair ever. As soon as you give up trying to figure out what’s going on you seem to enjoy it and relax. I think your favorite change lately is getting your new best friend and roommate Odysseus the Octopus. You love grabbing his legs. It makes me so happy thinking how you enjoy his company. I can’t wait to take you home. You are so loved by your family. You are equal parts beautiful and spectacular. I am so impressed with how much you’ve grown and just how strong you are. You are the highlight of my day, everyday. We love you and you make us proud.